25 November 2008

What About Oprah?

Surely someone has given some thought to appointing Oprah to The Cabinet. Maybe as Secretary of State [oops, sorry Hillary, I didn't see you there] or better yet Secretary General without portfolio. She could, for example, probably just pay the ransom for a pirated oil tanker from her walking around money. It would save a lot of time and bother.

She is part East Asian and part Native American according to her DNA analysis. I have no idea why this was done. This picture comes from the 80s according to our friends at Wikipedia, which is where I got the information on her DNA. Hmm, maybe there is something extra in the eyes. My guess is that Oprah is one of those rare birds that actually become better looking with age and, of course, the increasing skill of their costumers and hairdressers, and other servants. Is it true that "black don't crack?"

The Straight Dope (click on eyes above) offers the possibility that some peculiar pre-historic eco-disaster on the Asian continent led to reproductive advantage to those who had that epicanthic fold. Hmm. Or maybe it was just an accident. They do happen.

Speaking of accidents: Why wouldn't Hillary be a brilliant choice as Secretary of State? She probably has more cojones than most of the other candidates. It looks like if you want to succeed in that office you really need to work on it, unlike the US Senate, where you can run for President in your spare time. Even working full time and very skillfully the chances are pretty good she would fail at some major undertaking, for which the president could blame her for if it was necessary. It looks like one of those impossible jobs, like POTUS, that one can succeed in only if you have a tame and adoring main-stream media. OK, it looks like we are solid on that point. So President-elect-for-life Obama, now that we are all famous egalitarians, wouldn't have to worry so much about his chief political opponent in 2012. I think I will become a consultant.

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